Happy Birthmothers & Mothers Day

For many Birth Mothers, the next two days can be very difficult. Even in the most ideal of situations, these days can bring up complicated emotions. Unfortunately, some are told they are not real mothers. Some are told they don't have children. There are even those who are not allowed to be recognized at church with the other mothers. Although we live in a world where we are allowed to share our story without fear, there is an uneasy awkwardness if we allow others to see any residing grief. It is not unusual for there to be an awkwardness to grief, and many dealing with sad situations will stop talking about it because of reactions from others. I have been told of friends that don't get it, mothers that are cold, and of husbands that don't understand that this can be a difficult day. Often many first mothers are left to deal with their emotions privately. This can make a very emotional day even more frustrating.

If you are lucky like me and finally have found someone that tries to understand, lean on them. If you have an adoptive family that still considers you a mother, count yourself blessed. If your parents are there for you, lean on them. Find support in whomever you can on difficult days like this.

If you are alone, take comfort in the fact that you are a mother! The decision you made, no matter what the reason, was because you were trying to be the best mother to your child that you could at that moment. No matter how you feel now about your decision, you were being a mother and making a decision you thought was best for your child at the time. As a mother to parented children, I now know that we try to do the best for our children even if circumstances do not always turn out as planned.

If you get to see your child, rejoice in the fact that you are a mother of a different kind - one that your child will know and love. It may be exceptionally difficult, but find comfort in the idea that this is what is best for your child, to know you. What a precious gift your are giving to them - a relationship with you!

Lastly but most importantly, remember to rely on Jesus. Weep in His arms. Find strength in Him. If you feel like you can't take it any more, give it to Him. He will hold you in his arms as you long to hold your child in your arms. He is always there for you unlike any other, to comfort, to hold you, to listen.




heather